Sunday, October 23, 2016

Nostalgia Theater: The Trump TV Movie

We're just about two weeks out from the close of an election season that, in addition to seeming absolutely interminable, also feels like something out of a twisted, nightmarish reality show. So, so close to the end, folks. Hang in there. Anyway, I was poking around in the Nostalgia Theater closet to see if I could unearth something suitable to the moment, and boy howdy, look at the garish, gold-encrusted turd that that shook out.

The backstory: back in 2005, as Donald Trump's TV show The Apprentice was at its ratings peak on NBC, rival net ABC decided that they too wanted some of that sweet, sweet Donald Trump action (*shudder*). Without access to the Donald himself, they rolled the dice on a splashy sweeps month TV movie entitled Trump Unauthorized, purporting to tell the soapy, sex-and-booze fueled story of the magnate's rise to fame. Here's a promo:

That's veteran character actor Louis Ferrera (billed as Justin Louis) in the title role, and you'll note that he's considerably more chiseled and less doughy than the man he's playing. This might well account for why Trump himself was complimentary of the movie despite initially threatening -- as is his wont -- to sue the producers. And honestly, why wouldn't he have been complimentary? Despite being unauthorized, it was bolstering the exact same brand he'd spent decades carefully nurturing.

Regardless, if the vid above makes the movie look like literally the last thing you'd ever want to watch, congratulations, you're well situated within the vast majority of the non-Donald Trump viewing public. Despite being positioned as a ratings heavy hitter in May sweeps, and despite the so-called currency of the Trump brand, the movie tanked in spectacularly satisfying fashion, giving ABC its lowest rated Tuesday for that entire season. Ouch. Here's hoping Trump has an even worse Tuesday in a few short weeks.

One Year Ago in Nostalgia Theater: How Jem Was Truly Outrageous

Two Years Ago in Nostalgia Theater: Sectaurs -- Icky Bug Guys Doing Battle

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