Thursday, June 30, 2016
WASHINGTON—Breaking into a smile as he read the words “inclusiveness” and “young voters,” RNC chairman Reince Priebus couldn’t help but shake his head in amusement Wednesday while flipping through an 18-month-old briefing on the Republican Party’s plans for the 2016 election, sources reported. “Oh man, I completely forgot we came up with this whole 20-point program for how we would appeal to Latinos,” said Priebus, chuckling to himself as he thought back on the two years’ worth of meetings that resulted in a detailed strategy of embracing immigration reform, countering the Democrats’ “war on women” rhetoric, and running on a “positive agenda” of hope and tolerance, which he and other GOP leaders had calculated would put their party’s candidate on the best possible footing for this year’s presidential contest. “Wow, and there are our favorable assessments of Jeb Bush and Scott Walker! Boy, oh boy, that really takes me back. You know, all things considered, this was a pretty solid plan for taking back the White House. Oh well.” Priebus went on to state that the briefing wasn’t a complete waste, noting that the section on enacting voting restrictions to subdue minority turnout was still fully usable.