Monday, September 21, 2015

From The Onion...

Gallup Pollster Forced To Cut Off Another GOP Voter’s Enraged Rant In Order To Get To Next Call 
WASHINGTON—Saying the measure was necessary to ensure he met his daily quota of surveys administered, Gallup pollster Marc Perello told reporters that he was forced to cut off another GOP voter’s enraged rant Monday in order to get to his next phone call. “I made it through the first few questions about the respondent’s preferred presidential candidates just fine, but once I asked him about immigration and he launched into a whole rant about states’ rights, I knew I was in for a long one,” said Perello, who added that, after nine minutes of patiently listening to the livid caller’s ramblings shift from disgust with the state of the economy to fears about America’s declining influence on the world stage, he finally decided to skip the last three questions of the survey, interjected by thanking the man for his time, and hung up the phone. “I’ve learned that whenever one of them starts in about handouts or activist judges, it’s usually not worth even trying to redirect them to the next question. And they rarely tire out. Once they build up a head of steam, you just have to cut your losses and move on, otherwise you’ll only get through maybe five or six calls during the entire day.” At press time, Perello was reportedly assuring a caller that he had written down every word of his fuming five-minute response to a yes-or-no question about contraception coverage.

No comments: