Saturday, February 26, 2011

No, Joe. No. No. NO.

Last month, when I noted that director Stephen Sommers had departed from the planned follow-up to G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, I held out hope that Paramount and Hasbro might bring in a unique choice to replace Sommers and get the franchise back on the rails. While my pie-in-the-sky choice was someone like The A-Team's Joe Carnahan, I was heartened to hear that F. Gary Gray, who directed one of my fave underrated actioners from the '90s, The Negotiator (and also the not-bad Law Abiding Citizen two years ago), was one of the finalists. Gray's main competition for the gig was the guy who behind the Justin Bieber movie Never Say Never, but c'mon, no way they'd pick him, right? Right?

I'm sure you can guess where this is headed.

Yep, the folks in charge of Joe 2, having weighed all available options, have decided that director Jon Chu is the man to call "Action!" on the original Man of Action. For the 100% of you who probably have no idea who he is, Chu earned his directing stripes on various dance movies (including the two sequels to Step Up -- the ones without Joe star Channing Tatum) before bringing Bieber to the big screen. Now, if you're looking at that scant filmography, and the first thing that comes to mind is "G.I. Joe!" then clearly you have a job on the Paramount board of directors in your immediate future. As for me, needless to say, after a quick cry, I'm going to go ahead and revise my expectations downward.

Also, per Heat Vision, while Tatum is expected to reprise his central role as Conrad "Duke" Hauser, Chu and the producers will likely contend with the defections of Sienna Miller (The Baroness) and Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Cobra Commander). While I was under the impression that the primary cast had sequel clauses in place, I have to assume Miller and Levitt realized pretty quickly that they were slumming and got out while the getting was good. For Levitt, who broke out with Inception last year, and just signed onto The Dark Knight Rises, the choice between doing a Nolan Batman flick and a crappy Joe sequel isn't much of a choice at all. I've said repeatedly that he was the best thing about The Rise of Cobra, so his absence is just one more reason to write this thing off.

1 comment:

Kevin Otterness said...

All I can say is...That's Hollywood!